Transformers

A story about a bunch of freedom loving, gun-toting, flashy-car-imitating robots that happened to get released on the fourth of July. Hot damn. Can't git more American than that.

Here is me and Roadie Fag getting ready for the movie. More than meets the eye indeed.

Team Deliverance

Well folks, shit went sour. I am not living in the apartment as was expected. In the end Joeler the Boweler decided that he wanted to stay in the burg’ and hunt the coeds for another year. The best of luck to him. Upon actually moving here I realized that living with Lawrencium may be a mistake. No, really sometimes I want to punch that kid in the face. I know that’s a little violent but you can’t begin to understand the levels to which he possesses the ability to shit in my Kashi Goodfriends. So it's probably better we don't live together.

Anyways, the burg’ is amazing, even without riding as my knee has been semi-broken, along with my car, for the past week which is a testament to the power of this done here town. I recently managed to bash my knee on my head tube swelling my knee to the size of a cantaloupe and upon returning to my car I found that Team Deliverance paid me a visit breaking my passenger window in and stealing a good bit o my magic. So if you see some back-water holler-lovin hick mofo wearing a pair of Rudy Project Team Issue Wizaard sunglasses, listening to a four-year old Sony discman, and walking around in some Mizuno Waverider 9 running shoes (yes they took my old running shoes) please kick that dude in the nuts and make him squeal like a piggy. Oh, and they stole my wallet. Wankers.

In closing, I have started working for this man:

What a stud.

If Yuppies can't feed, Yuppies can't breed

So the DirtyBros will be embarking on an epic journey unrivalled in the realm of cycling this Saturday morning when they commence the infamous Stokesville-Douthat-Stokesville ride. The fabled trek includes over 160 miles and nearly 20,000 ft of climbing stretched out over two days. It will undoubtedly be interesting and should yield a blog far most satisfying than this epic piece of pony poo.

In other news, it looks as though I will be moving to the ‘burg. Yes, that’s right; the DirtyBros will once again be united under one roof yielding a situation that should quickly degenerate into the antics of yore. Late night political discussions fueled not only by massive amounts of Kirkland® products but copious amounts of alcohol, indoor track-stand practice, ‘goating’ on a new and unprecedented level, dodgeball with rancid fruit…and yes, the obligatory bare-assed-pressed-to-the-face-of-an-
unsuspecting-victim farting…only this time there will be no school to get in the way of our blatant and unrepentant irresponsibility. And when we screw up, and it will definitely happen, the consequences will be real and potentially detrimental to our health and socio-economic standing…which will only make it more thrilling and addictive. Yes, it looks like we’ve dodged the first bullet of the oppressive, regimented and confining ‘reality’ of adulthood…we’ll see how long we can hold the beasties off.

You Know What Grinds My Gears?

Well, it seems like the re-opening of our initial blog may still be some way off after the web address was unabashedly snaked by a faceless corporate entity in their attempts to sell more “rollators” somewhere in the vicinity of 5 months ago. I have, of course, been working tirelessly in the hopes of restoring the illustrious blog to its former status in the hearts of our countless readers but this task has not been easy. This corporate entity has felt the need to resort to cheap intimidation tactics by posting pictures of other dissenters they viciously stoned, with the aid of their army of rollaters no doubt, on the currently contested webspace.


As you can see these people are serious. But they underestimate the pig-headed tenacity of a DirtyBro. In the mean time, here is where we shall keep you informed as to the latest developments. Candy Apple Red indeed...

God Bless America.